Eat your heart out.

Dude, my ex broke up with a pinup model (me).  Uh, yah. 

Yep.  I got dumped for being too pretty. I assume.

...And maybe for wearing these shorts. 

Regardless.  Can you believe this? How dare he.

Now I could understand if I were really stupid, or clingy, or naggy or if I got an offensive neck tattoo, but I'm not and I didn't. So  WTF.

Turns out guys dump cool girls all the time, regardless of their hotness factor.  Douchebags don't discriminate.  But don't be tricked ladies, it probably isn't you- it's them. It always is.  Don't let them tell you that you are flawed or wrong, that just means he has issues he doesnt want to address and it is easier to push that off on you.  Now, if he tells you he just doesn't love you, that is fair, I just hope he figures it out sooner vs. later and stops wasting your/our time.  Side note: if you are one of the few ishy girls messing with one of the few good guys: stop that and thanks in advance.

However, I'm sticking to my guns, or theory, or to it, something! Not only should I never be dumped, but if I am dumped my then ex should receive abuse from his friends similar to this:

"I dumped Mara."

"Dude, WTF!?" 

"Yah. I think I can do better."

"Ummm, dude.  You can't."

"Oh."

Then they would tell him what a loser he is and he would cry.   I would get no satisfaction from his pain, because I would be too busy being awesome.

As you can tell, I think me being dumped all stems from my lack of self esteem. It's so obvious now.

So eat your heart out...of an artichoke, boys.  Have you ever cleaned one of these? It's a total bizzo.

MARINATED ARTICHOKE HEARTS

Rip off the outside leaves.  Cut in half.   Soak in lemon water.   Scrape out the hairy looking crap and the center leaves.  Cut the tips of the leaves.   Trim the stem.  Marinate.  Grill.  Eat with a lot of butter, because any guy that truly loves you will also love your big butt.  

Girl power. Meow.  

Before and after cleaning from top to bottm