The breakup song

Everyone has one. You all know the song you find and play over and over again until you stop or start crying? For some it's a song that reminds them they will be ok, for some it's about keying his car; for me it's anything by Pink. My god that woman has had some heart break! Every cd is another horrific struggle where she is hating on or missing or wounding her ex. I love that drunk, lawn-tractor-driving chick.

I figure if you can dump someone as rich and hot as Pink then obviously god created stupid men and dating to punish women. (This is not the moment when I start to go off about how men are jerks, but I am excited for that time!)

When women get dumped it always helps to have that one friend in our lives who has a crappier life than us. NO, I'm not that rude (despite what my ex appears to think) Hear me out!

This person doesn't have to be a good or close friend, maybe someone you know of through someone else, maybe Brittany Spears- whatever, just someone with some bad luck. I know it sounds horrible but seriously we are competitive creatures, we all compete in some way or another.

Now, when your friend's crappy life looks appealing compared to your life you have struck damn near rock bottom and its time to get your $hit together.

I recommend, but admittedly don't follow my own advice, to stop playing that same song over and over again. People in other cars can see you crying and your company phone number is stenciled on your vehicle doors. This isn't good. Or maybe it is? Men like frail women right?

Also, try to remember the stories of horrible first dates that you and your friends went on (such as the guy I know who dated a girl with 6 fingers on one hand -or the guy whose ex showed up at my door after our first date?) All in all things could be worse. Imagine all the brainless trolls my ex will date before he realizes what he had? Imagine all the creepy guys I will date before I remember I have standards? A lot.

So in the meantime I'm experimenting with the effects of cheese puffs, pie and Rolos chocolates on breakup depression. Data currently not available.

My ex would have loved this:

Sweet potato pecan pie

1. Bake 2 medium sweet potatoes until soft. Remove skin and put in mixer with the following while still warm:

1/4 cup butter
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1t grated orange peel
1t vanilla
1t cinnamon
1t nutmeg
1/4t salt
2 eggs

Mix well. Put into a 9" unbaked pie crust (don't buy a gross pre-made one, making your own is easy just google!) and bake at 350 for 30 min.

Meanwhile mix 1 egg, 3T dark corn syrup, 3T dark brown sugar packed, 1T melted butter, 1T maple syrup then add 1C chopped pecans.

Spread on top of pie and bake an additional 25min until golden.

Let cool. Serve warm or chilled.